Urban Moment: Oscar Grant Protests

I originally had another posting for today, but I felt that readers would like to know what's really going on in Oakland now. For those outside of Oakland, a young man of 22 was executed by a BART (our subway) officer on New Year's day. For more details on the case and what you can do, read this piece from colorlines.

Last night I drove through 14th and Madison where young people expressed their anger and the police wagon was parked in the intersection ready to arrest them. There was shattered glass on the ground and the door at McDonalds was mildly smashed. Just minutes after driving off, a car was set on fire. From our house, we watched the media copters shine their search lights on downtown all night. When we switched on the news, there was only repeated shots of cop cars driving the streets. It was only when we turned on KPFA, did we hear some real reports about the earlier rally.

Early today, my co-workers and I were asked to leave early because of the potential demonstrations. Our building is located a block away from the BART Office where community members demanded a response from officials. It was my first experience working in sort of a police state. There were dozens of officers on each corner, blocks and blocks of police cars, and helicopters above.Did I feel that my safety was comprised? No. I didn't see any violent protesters. But I definitely felt that contagious state of paranoia and fear that the police can so often provoke.

When I picked up Kai today from his daycare, our provider who is a woman of color wanted to talk about it too. "I hope this is a lesson to everyone. Those police, they always mess with us. Mexicans, Blacks, and Asians." In our short discussion, I could feel that she wanted justice for Oscar too. As I left, I looked at the other kids who were smiling and playing with another. Just thankful that they were safe and still young enough to be sheltered from the ugliness of the world.

My thoughts are with the family of Oscar Grant.

Rock the Vote Mamas

Election Day is just 11 days away. It's definitely a big one. I'm proud to say that my own mom registered to vote for the first time last week. Why? I think that the buzz around the election has even touched her. Someone who is normally so busy working just to make ends meet and someone who has limited English skills. When I called mom and asked who she was planning to vote for, she said in a shy tone " that guy, Obama." It was so sweet. It's exciting that this election could even stir up interest in mom.

There is so much at stake in this election including preserving the right for gay marriage and abortion rights and safety for young women. If you feel that you may be distracted at the voting booth with child in hand or have an inkling that you won't make it because you have to take care of baby. Get help. If your partner or friends can't watch the kids while you help make a difference in this election, there are other resources available. Sittercity and TodaysMama are offering free or half- off their babysitting rates during election time. It's simple, you type in your zip code on their homepage, sign up, and enter in code MAMAVOTE08.

Parent Pet Peeve (PPP) or Triple P

Every so often, I'm going to post a pet peeve that has become much bigger since I became a parent.

This PPP ticked me off last night:

I was never big on car alarms. Maybe they were hot s*** back in the 80's but car alarms seem to be more annoying than helpful. Most of the time when they go off, it's a false alarm right?

If you live in the suburbs where everyone parks in a garage, it's not much of an issue. As urban parents, you're bound to live on a street with lots of parked cars. Some may bump their music or some will give off this annoying alarm. I swear car owners never turn up to off these false alarms either. Since I became a parent who only wishes for my baby to sleep long hours, I would vote for a ban for sure.

It seems that quite a few New Yorkers would agree with me as there have been attempts to ban alarms.

Chinatown: Strollers Are a No Go

After cruising through the Old Oakland Farmer's Market last Friday successfully with baby in stroller, I was feeling pretty good. I pressed my luck and tried to pick up more groceries in Chinatown. After attempting to shop at one food store, I realized a stroller is not a good idea here. Many of the Chinatown stores are a bit cluttered making it difficult to roll a stroller through. Plus there is always the man wheeling a dolly with stacked produce boxes in the tiny aisles. Most often, he's not willing to share space with a stroller mom. Plus the older Asian ladies are equipped to fight you for space with their rollie carts.

Next time around I'll definitely bring the sling.

Stroller Space Ratings:

Cam Huong Deli-- Only possible before the lunch time rush. If there's more than five people in line, you're out of luck.

Good Luck Supermarket-- Probably the most spacious of stores in the area. Wide aisles for stroller moms to cruise. Not the best selection of food but it will work for staple asian items like tofu and oyster sauce. There's a parking lot though!

Yuen Hop Noodle Company-- It might be worth it to stroll through and get a fresh pack of noodles but shop quickly. Not much stroller space either.

Even with baby, Oakland Chinatown is worth a visit especially with the new safe and decorative scramble crosswalks.

Eatin' Out With Baby

Here's a quick list of baby-friendly restaurants in Oakland/Berkeley that are tasty and comfy for the whole family...no long waits, ample space, and the good food factor:


Miyozen-- Great for toddlers, there's a full blown playroom (genius right?)and the restaurant is big enough so you won't feel your fussy infant or toddler is disruptive. Another joint run by the owners of Koryo Sushi and Drunken Fish. 1147 40th St. in Emeryville.

Mixing Bowl--A fairly new spot in the Temescal triangle. Perfect for a quick bite to eat with the little ones. I recommend the pulled pork sandwich which comes with organic greens grown by the owner's father. Aqua Fresca and fresh baked goods are a bonus too. 4920 Telegraph Ave. in Oakland.


Herbivore-- Their vegan friendly but ultra tasty menu is a hit for any age.
2451 Shattuck in Berkeley.


Binh Minh Quan-- We eat here several times a month. Authentic Vietnamese food with friendly service. If you have a toddler, request the corner table near the windows because you get ample space plus the sunshine. Try their claypots and yummy fruit shakes. 338 12th St. in Oakland.


Ohgane Korean--Best Korean BBQ in town for sure. Kids will love the ornate silver covered menus and sweet rice punch. Upon special request, the server will bring a kid's plate with rice and spicy side. Every time we're there, I see dozens of kids. Plus with all the grilling and laughter, no one will hear any cries. 3915 Broadway in Oakland.

Oakland Robberies...No Joke

Do I really want to raise my kid in this city? That's the burning question. The recent restaurant holdups are no joke. As a parent I can pretend all I want that the crime in Oakland is somehow far from me while I shop at the Temescal Farmers Market. In those moments while gathered with other parents who can decide whether to buy organic heirloom tomatoes or blue bottle coffee, there's this illusion that Oakland is the perfect place to raise my child.

But the reality is that this city is drifting further and further away. These days, J and I would rather order in rather than risking being robbed at a small local restaurant. Each time I read about another hold up, I think "Damn we've been there too." or "Shit, we were just there."

Hmmm let's recount the restaurants that were held up this past year:

Gregoire on Piedmont- been there
Milano on Grand- been there
King of King- been there
Nomad Cafe- been there
Pasta Pomodoro in Rockridge- been there
Furenzu in Emeryville- this place borders Oakland. I took my mom there once for mother's day.

Then to hear about a nail salon being hit where an employee was pistol whipped? My mom owned a nail salon in San Francisco for almost ten years when I was growing up. I can't help to take that news to heart. Now not only do I have to think twice about eating out but also visiting my favorite nail salon?

As a parent, I've already reconsidered this idea of raising Kai in Oakland. Honestly what are the benefits aside from the weather and diversity? Tell me.

Funny because years ago I use to get upset when non-Oaklanders would ask me "Why live in Oakland? Aren't you scared?" I used to think people were silly for asking me such nonsense. But now I ask myself the same questions.

Map of Robberies

Pregnant Lady Paranoia

For weeks I was obsessively reading the news. I know pregnant women are supposed to stay away from news about violence, but Oakland crimes are always on the front page. Early in January, there was a 10-year old named Christopher Rodriguez who was shot in the stomach while at a piano lesson on Piedmont Ave. which is in a “good” neighborhood. His mother was parked outside waiting for him. At the same moment when Chris was practicing on keys, a 26 year -old man held up the Chevron next door. The robbery ended in a shoot-out where the stray bullet hit Christopher. He was rushed to the Children’s Hospital where the doctors stated that he would be paralyzed from the waist down.

In Oakland like other highly condensed urban areas, crime can be crazy. Innocent children are often in the crossfire. But I do have a choice right? No one is forcing me to live here. Originally when I moved to Oakland as a twenty-something back in 2000, I was drawn by the diversity and potential of this city. But when you’re about to have a child, views change. My husband and I went back and forth for days about whether to move out of Oakland. But did we really want to move to the suburbs like Walnut Creek or Moraga?

I couldn’t even imagine that because I grew up in San Francisco. Maybe I’m naïve, but growing up with a diverse population, I’m talking class and ethnicity is key for me. It’s a love/hate relationship that I have with Oakland. But for my child, I think about his safety. I’m still undecided on how long we’ll be in Oakland. Maybe things will change and it will be a perfect place to raise a family one day. But until the annual homicide rate drops below 100, I’ll go back and forth about our permanent residency.

In the meantime, we moved to a “better” neighborhood right on Lake Merritt. So far, the baby and I feel pretty good about it.